My name is Wendi..
Mine is a story to tell. I believe that sharing our experiences and stories behind the scars with one another brings healing, both to the injured and the injurer. We are all injured. We have all injured. We each have a big story to tell and it’s in these conversations that eyes are opened, hearts become vulnerable and labels change their shapes and even fall to the ground.
This, my story…
I grew up in an extremely religious and conservative home where I fell in love with Jesus at a young age. I never considered myself a lesbian but knew as a child something was different about myself and my attractions. Not long into my adult years my dear friend, a female who also grew up in a Christian home and loved Jesus, and I fell in love. Real, head-over-heels, heart bursting love. I don’t know exactly how it happened but in a whirlwind of emotions, a casual friendship turned into a deeply heartfelt attraction and a hunger for more. We questioned much of what we were doing and the emotions stirred up, knowing we were pursuing something very different than what was taught in our Sunday Schools as little girls. We knew what the Bible said. We knew what our churches believed and would think. But then why did it, for lack of better words, feel so right? How could something incredibly raw and gentle and innocent and bursting with color and life and that truly made us want to be better people, be dirty as many in our Christian circles defined?
We didn’t have the answers. So we formed a relationship with a beautifully sacred commitment and trudged forward with our lives together, in silence to our world. For 10 years. In silence. And here we are, after watching the rest of our loved ones find their soul mates, get married and build families – we realize that we’ve been stuck in the same place all this time. Not being able to move forward with plans to get married and start a family of our own all the while feeling unprivileged to invite said loved ones to be a part of it. Realizing how unfair we’ve been to ourselves and our families and that honesty is the best policy for all, we’re beginning the process of changing it all. Of telling our story. Of telling the truth, as hard and terrifying and painful as it may be. Of struggling with what it means to be true to our loves – love for the Father and love for each other. Of engaging in a community so ostracized by the Church and letting them know we’re one of their own while still being one of the church’s. Of future wedding plans and mapping out who will be the father of our someday babies.
This is a space to be raw, open and honest about the next season we’re walking into. From time to time My Love will contribute to this blog as well, adding her own uniquely perfect take on our story as it unfolds. In the everyday world, we take part in a masterpiece of a facade we’ve created but in this space, we’re just plain ol’ us – someones we like quite a bit who the world will get to know all too soon.
Wendi & C