Love is hard, Mama.
Love. The verb the world knows well and that has touched each of us in some way, with some glimmer. A kiss on the cheek from your beloved Grandma. Freshly baked cookies for the neighbor. Letting the gal with two items go in front of you at the grocery checkout. Being a voice for the voiceless on voting day. A silent prayer for one that is hurting.
Love. We all need it, desperately.
Some may also think love looks like a harsh word said in “truth.” A punch or a hit to stop something bad from happening. An angry comment on a twitter feed you don’t believe in, because “someone has to stand up, someone has to be bold.” Shutting a disobedient child out of your life because of their recent “life choices” that go against everything you believe to be true about the God you love and the Bible you taught them. Love. Funny how the one doing it thinks you need it more than you really do.
Jesus is the epitome of love. He is love incarnate. It has always been in His eyes, his tone, his touch. His glance, His smile, His loud, proclaiming voice. Love drew people unto Himself. They came by the hundreds, pulled by some cosmic power, something they couldn’t describe except they knew they wanted more. Love draws us closer to Him. His love is perfect. This type of love isn’t natural for us, it’s a struggle, is a choice.
Looking at My Love and I, our relationship, our commitment and what we want for each other. Is it really that bad? Are we really not acting in a raw form of love ourselves? We are kind and compassionate. We are activists to those who can’t be. We care for our broken, beautiful world and do what we can to take care of it. We love our neighbors and families well and think of them before we do anything else. Why do you think it’s taken us 10 years to come out – because we were loving you so much that we were lying to ourselves and you and the rest of our world.
Twisted and wrong, I know. But love nonetheless.
1 Corinthians 13 describes what love is. How she is patient, never running out of steam or energy. How she’s kind and always thoughtful, helpful. How she isn’t covetous or envious of the blessings someone else has. How she doesn’t make others envious by boasting over the blessings she has. How she’s not proud or puffed up and doesn’t take too long to say she’s sorry. How she doesn’t dishonor others and makes sure to think, believe and communicate the best of all people. How she’s not self-seeking, putting herself and her own well-being above anyone else because she knows that God will take care of everything she needs. How she’s not easily angered and how her temper is maintained and under control. How she keeps no record of wrongs and is like the Father in that He washes the slate clean and His mercies are new every morning. How she could never delight in evil but instead rejoices in the truth, especially with justice – God’s justice – prevails. How she always protects tender hearts for we’re all a bit broken. She always trusts and has big, lovely dreams. How she always hopes in better days and better things, and how she always perseveres even when it’s hard and everything is crumbling down.
Mama, as you read this with the realization of the choice My Love and I have made and what these words mean, I pray that the Jesus I’ve seen all through you all my life would be evident. That He would bring you comfort and peace and rest and all the other things you need from Him right now. That He would give you direction and open your eyes to how much you are loved and purposed and directed. That you would have the words to say. That love would be a choice. And that you would know that Love Himself loves me more than you and Daddy ever could.
I know love is hard, Mama. But during this time, my hope is that love would be all we need.